Staying out of my head

Happy Friday!   I had a little freakout over my long run this morning.  It actually started last night when I realized that I wouldn't be able to do it outside.  I kept waffling back and forth on whether to try and bundle up and run or just try to endure the dreadmill.   I eventually settled on the treadmill.  For the most part.  Kinda.

Once I got up and dressed in my shorts and tank, I had no choice, I certainly wasn't going to run outside like that in 29 degree windy conditions!  My trusty running partner helped keep my mind slightly busy on the way to the gym.  Dallas (my 17 year old) is ever the voice of reason. 

Even so, by the time I arrived at the gym, my stomach was turning and I had nerves like on a race day???  What was going on here?  I am the queen of self-talk, so I reminded myself that I ran 5 miles just last week, but each time I would do that, the little demon voice in my head responded "but not on a treadmill!"

There was nothing to do but just jump on.  Dallas & I set our pace comfortably slow (11:19 mile) and started up.  Something just clicked and I let it all go.  Unlike the other day when I was in my head nearly the whole time, this time I just let it go from the beginning.  I ran an HOUR straight!  AN HOUR!  I keep waiting to not be amazed at these feats, but each time I'm just stunned.  If you told me a few years ago or ANY stage of my life, actually, that I was going to be running for an hour straight, I would have died laughing.

I  ENJOYED the treadmill, go figure!  I had to take a snapshot of Dallas' TM because mine reset halfway through...I just started it right back up and kept going.  Rolled right off my shoulders!

Letting it go made all the difference and I had a fantastic run.  5.25 in 59:11.  I even had some self control...Dallas decided to run to 6 miles and I resisted pushing it more because I knew I shouldn't.

Something else I noticed on the treadmill,   I could see myself in the window and you know what?  I liked what I saw.   I love seeing the sweat on my collar bones and my shoulders swinging back and forth.  I look strong and healthy!  I can see my body starting to change.  The scale hasn't moved much in the last 2 months, but I can feel a difference.  I feel...ATHLETIC?!?! 

It's really bizarre and never something I really thought I would be.   AND, who is this person that keeps taking pictures of herself?!?!  LOL.  Feeling pretty vain about it, but I should be proud of what I have accomplished, right???

Have you ever had one of those times where it just CLICKED and you got out of your head and just ran?  Is there something you say to yourself to let it all go or does it just happen?