Oh boy, if you are looking for something uplifting to read, you may want to skip my blog today. I just need to vent, talk through some things, and brainstorm.
Where to start. Well, after my 10 mile run where my knees felt like cracking in half the last mile, I spend the last 4 days hobbling around but each day feeling better. I accepted this as just overuse, I seem to take much much longer to bounce back after long runs that the average person (WHY is this???). After my 9 mile run I was worried about my heel bursitis b/c it was feeling tweaked for well over a week. After my 8 mile run my quads were really sore for about 5 days...and on...and on...
I've considered that I'm a hypochondriac. Is that possible? I don't know but what I know is that when I do what other people do, I end up injured or I take a ridiculous amount of time to recover. I doubt it's in my head b/c it pisses me off to no end and each time I think I'm finally going to be injury free, something else hurts.
I tried to run today since I had not run since Sunday and my knees were finally feeling fine. My right knee took longer to feel better, but I was fine with no discomfort this morning. Started a slow run on the treadmill and could feel the stiffness right away. I thought maybe it just needed to loosen up but by 1.8 I was struggling to even finish out with 2 miles. PAIN in that right knee. *sigh* Oh I should try to be positive...the left knee felt fine?!?!?
I have considered that being a vegetarian might be slowing my recovery times but I've been tested and my blood levels always show I'm fine, no vitamin deficiencies. I eat tons of protein, love greek yogurt...
I would think it has to do with age, but even when I started running in my late 20s I was plagued with injuries and pain (and why I quit back then)
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia years ago but my Dr. told me it's just what they tell people when they don't know what's wrong. I found that Vitamin D greatly helped me and I have no more soreness/pain on a normal day...but maybe this running recovery issue is related?
I just think after running for over a year consistently, building up my miles, taking it slow, adjusting and adjusting...that I would have gotten somewhere. I'm seeing a lot of people post about how they ran their 10 miles and could have gone further, they are ready for the half. I feel the complete opposite. Sure I ran 10 miles, but it was hard, painful (where have my FUN, Spiritual, meditative, feel-fantastic runs gone?) and I hurt for DAYS afterwards. I don't want to be pushed around in a wheelchair the rest of the week I'm in Disney. Maybe my expectations are off? I thought once I built up my runs would be just as enjoyable as the shorter runs are.
I'm sure I can walk the half. I know I can...but I didn't put all this energy, training, sweat, tons of tears, and pain into walking a half marathon. I want to RUN!
I know complaining and whining about this won't change a thing, but sometimes you just have to get it out to move on. I'm putting it out here so I can let go of it b/c it's not going to do me any good to stress over it. I'm going to run this race and I'm going to get it done. I'm starting to try and adjust my expectations of being elated that I ran because at this point I think I might be dragging myself over the finish in pain and not feeling like I kicked that 13.1's ass as much as I thought I would. I will be crossing the finish line though, so maybe that's the only expectation I need to hold on to!
If you made it through that, I appreciate it. I know it's not fun to read stuff like this, but it's what's going on. I can't sugarcoat it just because others are reading. This is my journey and I want to record it... AND....no photos! I'm a disgrace as a blogger but there it is.