or anything but running, apparently.
I would love to say this is going to be an inspirational post (cause I need some, pretty please) I'm just not sure where it's going to go, so I cannot make any promises. I'm going to dump it all here and see where we're at when I'm done!
Before I start, congrats to all the Disneyland Dumbo Double Dare runners yesterday! It was so much fun watching everyone from afar. Happy Labor Day as well.
I woke up ready to run! I had no pain at all this weekend, I'm not uncomfortable at all when I'm walking around in flip flops, it's like I'm not even injured...until I put my shoe on. Ugh. I was so excited but as soon as I slipped on my shoe, the heel was burning. WTF? I took the shoe back off and after cursing and putting my flip flop back on, I headed out to petsit. I was in a REALLY foul mood. I looked like this: (note, this is a reenactment so it may have been much uglier, you would have to ask Dallas. LOL)
When I was done (petsitting & pouting), Dallas suggested we bike instead of trying to run. I was pretty close to running in my flip flop, so it took some convincing. Eventually I relented and this is how I rode...
At some point Dallas told me to slow down, I was so frustrated that I guess I was taking it out on our ride and he wanted to go for distance, not speed. I realized as I got lost in my music that I was playing with the idea of running when we got back to the house. It was going to take quite a few more miles to convince me that I shouldn't. So I kept riding.
We stopped by the house around 10 miles for a drink of water and I knew if I didn't get right back on the bike that I would be off running in my flip flop...so I kept riding.
At some point I WAS enjoying the ride, I do like biking sometimes, but I don't get the same feeling when I'm biking as I do when running. Around mile 14 I had exhausted myself enough that I thought I might be able to finish up the ride and not try to run when I got back to the house. We made it home at 16.3 miles, lots of hills thrown in, and my bum was sore and my legs like jello, but I still felt a bit like this:
Jeez, here come the waterworks. Running is my happy place. It's not about the sweat or the workout, there's something more there. I go deep in myself, I am ONE with myself, my breath, my feet pounding the ground. It's like meditation and there's just no other activity that makes me feel the way running does. It seems cruel that I can't do it and that injuries seem to plague me.
Sigh. So, Miss-overly-dramatic has to deal. First World problems, I tell ya. There are so many things to be grateful for, including the 16 mile bike ride I was just able to take! It's not the same, but it's something. It's more than something, more than lots of people can do. I have been described as a pretty persistent person. I guess I am, I think because I don't feel I have any other choice. What choice do I have? Give up? and do what? Sit here and pout more? So, I'll keep swimming... or I'll keep riding and I'll do whatever I can until I can run again. I WILL run again, because to me, there's just no other alternative. And my face most of the time is going to be like this:
I'll fake it until I make it and persist until I get what I want. I'll run in flip flops down Main Street and through that castle if I have to, but I'm going to run my race!