Weekly Freak-up

Err...wrap-up?  So, I nearly didn't write this.  Ok, to be honest, I'm still on the fence about it.  We'll see what happens when I get to the end of the page and decide if I should publish.   I know at some point in the future, I will come looking for this entry, the one where I was talking about the days building up to the race.  I think I will want to remember, it is part of the process, so that's why I'm bothering to write it all up.

 It's one week.  ONE.WEEK.  To say I'm excited, stressed, happy, freaked out, or impatient would be an understatement.  

The week started off well for the most part.  I ran 10 last weekend, my knees were feeling good and I was pretty confident.  Then a day after I ran the 10 my right foot started to hurt. Out.of.nowhere.  Nowhere! My mind was all over the place with questions  as to why my body continues to fight me at every turn.  At first I was just annoyed but as the days passed, I started to worry.  It took a while but by Thursday it was feeling better and I had planned a 4 mile interval run/walk with a client of the furry nature.  

Headed out and it was pretty bad from the get-go.  The first mile my foot was nagging but I just kept telling myself that the first mile lies. The foot loosened up, but the run never really got better.  I couldn't get into a groove and when I got to the turn around point I realized I was going to be running straight into strong wind and up hill.  It was a real struggle. I finished up with 3.7 miles and my foot was killing me by the time I drove home.  I felt like I should have just left it at the 10 mile run because my confidence was totally shaken by this shorter run and I was back to being worried about injury.  All these feelings were just jumbled up in my head. 

The rest of the day it just built up until that evening I was in complete meltdown mode.

  I told Rey that I didn't understand how this had turned into something I was dreading, something so stressful, something I just wanted to be done with.  I wasn't sure how I got to this place, I think just putting so much pressure on myself, building it up for so long, and stressing out about it.  I really just felt like I wanted it to be over and never go through this again. What? This was supposed to be fun!  I also think I have a tendency to beat myself up when I get upset about something, so that made it worse. 

It's not that I don't think I can do it.  I will finish, I think it's the manner in how I finish that has me bothered.  I don't want running to hurt all the time.  I don't want to finish and not be able to walk around Disney for the rest of the week and be in pain.  I want to have fun and I think if I focus on that, I'll be fine! I can sometimes get myself all worried about a situation and in the end I expect the worst so it ends up being far better than I expected. 

 I'm not sure if this is "normal" but it happened.  I tend to forget these things and just remember all the fantastic stuff, so I wanted to put it here for the future.  Maybe in the future when I freak out, I can learn from it.  Either way, I had my little cry and felt better.  When it's all said and done, I use these experiences in the future.

I hope this didn't feel too horribly negative, it's not been all doom, gloom, & freakout here.  We are so excited to go to our happy place and are counting the days!  The girls have a countdown chain they made 150 days out and a couple days ago I took another photo of them at 9 days. I cannot believe how fast it has gone by! 

 

Tomorrow I'll have some shots of my costume! I'm really happy with how it came out!

Ever freak yourself out stressing over a race?